I have an addiction, and they say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. But what if I don’t want to recover. What if I’m perfectly happy with my addiction?
You see I’m addicted to….
BOOKS!
No, seriously, it’s an addiction.
I feel compelled to buy books that I know I won’t get around to reading for a while, but I want to have them now.
I sometimes get so engrossed in a book that I really cannot put it down until I have read the last word on the last page. And even then I search frantically for a sequel or something to keep the story alive and going.
The worst part of this addiction is the words “The End.”
Those are such sad words.
I get so emotionally invested in books that I begin to think of the characters as real people, at least for a short while.
People are always shocked when I tell them I read about 75 books in the 11 months on the Race. They ask the question, “HOW?” And I always explain that is what I did on all of the 36-40 hour bus rides. Or the days when it took about 3 hours round trip to get to and from ministry. I pulled out my book and began reading.
Reading and books are not bad and unhealthy in and of themselves. But there is a point at which this habit becomes an addiction for me.
It comes when I choose to hide away and read books rather than invest in the human relationships around me. When I spend more time with books than I do with people, then it becomes an addiction.
This was something that was pointed out to me on my Race. I was asked if I was turning to books as an avoidance mechanism to what God was trying to teach me and tell me. And more often than not, I was. I was drowning out God’s voice with books. Some of these books were great and beneficial for life, but I was using them as an avoidance mechanism.
This is when my books and reading became an addiction.
So now, every time I pick up a book and decide to read for long stretches of time, I stop and ask myself and God if I am using the book as an avoidance mechanism. If the answer is “yes” then I put the book down and spend time with Him. If the answer is no, then I continue to read.
So my question to you is, “What are you allowing to fill your time and be used as an avoidance mechanism to spending time with Papa?”
