I have an addiction…

I have an addiction, and they say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.  But what if I don’t want to recover.  What if I’m perfectly happy with my addiction? 

You see I’m addicted to….

 

BOOKS!

No, seriously, it’s an addiction. 

I feel compelled to buy books that I know I won’t get around to reading for a while, but I want to have them now. 

I sometimes get so engrossed in a book that I really cannot put it down until I have read the last word on the last page. And even then I search frantically for a sequel or something to keep the story alive and going.  

The worst part of this addiction is the words “The End.”  

Those are such sad words. 

I get so emotionally invested in books that I begin to think of the characters as real people, at least for a short while.  

People are always shocked when I tell them I read about 75 books in the 11 months on the Race.  They ask the question, “HOW?”  And I always explain that is what I did on all of the 36-40 hour bus rides.  Or the days when it took about 3 hours round trip to get to and from ministry. I pulled out my book and began reading.

Reading and books are not bad and unhealthy in and of themselves. But there is a point at which this habit becomes an addiction for me.  

It comes when I choose to hide away and read books rather than invest in the human relationships around me.  When I spend more time with books than I do with people, then it becomes an addiction.  

This was something that was pointed out to me on my Race. I was asked if I was turning to books as an avoidance mechanism to what God was trying to teach me and tell me.  And more often than not, I was.  I was drowning out God’s voice with books.  Some of these books were great and beneficial for life, but I was using them as an avoidance mechanism. 

This is when my books and reading became an addiction. 

So now, every time I pick up a book and decide to read for long stretches of time, I stop and ask myself and God if I am using the book as an avoidance mechanism. If the answer is “yes” then I put the book down and spend time with Him.  If the answer is no, then I continue to read.  

So my question to you is, “What are you allowing to fill your time and be used as an avoidance mechanism to spending time with Papa?”