Freedom in the “Whatever”

Confession time: I like my schedules.  I feel safe when things are planned out and there is a schedule to follow.  I am a very time oriented person.  I am usually several minutes early to anything and everything.  It makes me feel safe and stress free when there is set times for things. 

However, I have learned to set aside this very scheduled mentality when I am not in a position of leadership to change things.  Also going on the World Race helped with this because we were never really told a schedule of things or what was going to happen next, and even if we were told a schedule, things were bound to change. Knowing that this was the norm and that the cultures we would be entering into were definitely not time oriented, I became less or a time sensitive person on the World Race.  

But, when I returned to the States, I very quickly and easily slipped right back into that mindset.  I had to train myself not to wear a watch because I was seriously checking it every 2 minutes to see what time it was.  I knew this was not a healthy place to be in so I took my watch off. (Side note: It has taken over 5 months for my watch tan line to be almost gone.)

So this week when the returning apprentices were sent off to do what God asked us to do, where God asked us to do it, my team and I thought we would have a very structured week of ministry. We thought this was going to be our week so much so that I brought my watch.

This was until we arrived in Gainesville, FL.  After God provided a place for us to stay for the week with an alumni Racer and her husband, we realized that this week was not going to be anything like we thought.  

Instead of spending our week serving and ministering in the way we expected, God told us to sit and rest.  To spend time with Him.  To sit at His feet and allow Him to refresh us and prepare us for this coming semester of CGA.  It was not what we expected, but it was exactly what each of us needed.  

When we realized this was what our week was going to be, I had an internal struggle with letting go of my watch and a schedule for the week.  I had to take off my watch and put on a mindset of “Whatever.”  This was not an easy thing to do.  But it was freeing.  There was such freedom in not having to plan things, not having to keep a schedule.  It gave me and my team the freedom to literally go wherever and do whatever and not be stressed or rushed for time sake.  

I survived.  Better yet, I enjoyed myself and the freedom that came with not being tied to a schedule and to time.  Then on our last day in Gainesville, FL, we went to a coffee shop and I found this clock that summed up perfectly what God had been teaching me this week.